A A R ♥ N (asyntactic) wrote in loversandsonnet,
A A R ♥ N

as i lay

i sleep. i am entrapped within a net of deceit. i gave up the fight many years ago, and now harbor the lies as truth. thoughts guided by nothing, i am focused upon my insignificance. what is this feeling of self pity that so happily relates itself to i. why is it that every waking moment that i am alone i find myself recounting all of ghastly ordeals of my past. WHY AM I TRAPPED. WHY DID THIS THING DIE. WHY CANT I FEEL MYSELF. wh]y oh why are all these faces so familiar and yet derive nothing but feelings, NOT EVEN NAMES. what is it here that SCREAMS IN MY EAR. WHY DO I SMOKE ALONE , is this solitary DEFIANCE. IS THIS A MEANS TO AN END
WHAT IS DRIVING ME MAD. WHY IS IT THAT THE PICTURES OF .......... CONJURE THEMSELVES INTO MY CONSCIOUSE STATE EVERY TIME SOMETHING BEAUTIFUL COMES MY WAY. why is it that every time i see you i have to turn my head away and burn the grotessque photographs burnt within my mind. why havent i been blessed with death. and so i sleep, torturedby my dreams in this net so entwined that not even the deepest love could fix me from its snare. good bye life, and i so live in death
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